Tags
friendship, grief, imaginary friends, Kool-aid, rainbows, support, unicorns
I have been thinking a lot today about imaginary friends. My sister had one who was quite a terror…was allowed to do everything Melody wasn’t, and had no real limits at all. She came to a bad end. My brother had two…a giant and an elf. I remember hearing him playing with them in his bedroom, having conversations using his normal little kid voice, a deep voice for the giant, and a high squeaky voice for the elf.
I didn’t have — or need — an imaginary friend as a child. I had my mother all to myself until I was five years old.
Fast-forward nearly sixty years to the spring of 2013. The company I had represented for 10 years filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy, turning my life and the lives of thousands of other consultants upside down. The company-sponsored social networks were sharing information about the process on a need-to-know basis, and they didn’t seem to think we had a need to know very much. Kool-aid seemed to be the corporate drink of choice, and unicorns and rainbows the corporate logos. Facing the end of what many of us had considered a life-long association was a painful, frustrating, and grief-filled process.
And in came the imaginary friends to ease the way. One brave woman, realizing the need for a “safe zone” for conversations, information sharing, and grieving, set up a secret group on Face Book, and over the space of several months I found myself the proud associate of over 1,300 friends. Some of the women I had met “in real life”, many had names I recognized from company events and public relations pieces, but many became real to me in our countless heartfelt conversations over the internet. These, my imaginary friends, filled a void I hadn’t even realized existed, and I will be forever grateful.
The time of crisis for our company has passed, and life is beginning to return to a new normal for most of us. But the bonds of caring and sisterhood that we forged through the miracle of social media will continue. Our community of women (and a few special men) has come together to support families who have lost loved ones, families with breadwinners out of work, families affected by natural disasters…in other words, families just going about their day-to-day lives. And we will continue to do so.
Long live our friends, imaginary and otherwise.
cynthia said:
that was beautiful!! you made me tear up. now we are officially famous.
thank you my friend. and now i know you are real. cause you have a blog.
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momfawn said:
Oh, Cynthia, you are precious! I have been having such fun with my blog these past months…part of my post-CM Plan B. – Fawn
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Janet said:
Awwww! totally feel the same way about our imaginary friends.
I talk about y’all to my family all the time. They already think I’m crazy so that’s okay.
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momfawn said:
The other night my sister said, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about those imaginary friends of yours.” So I told her about all of you, and what treasures you are to me, and now she’s not worrying any more! – Fawn
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Arlene Salvatore said:
I am too stupid to know how to create a blog, it seems so difficult! I think this is great! What an ode to our fabulous group!
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momfawn said:
Arlene, if you are smart enough to stay in Hope But Plan, you are smart enough to create a blog! I’m still learning some of the bells and whistles, but it is so satisfying. I’m glad you liked my post. – Fawn
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Jane said:
Beautiful! Now I want to write a post on my blog about HBP. But I know I couldn’t write as eloquently as you have. 🙂
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momfawn said:
Thank you, Jane. I’ll be coming over to visit your blog! – Fawn
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slnorman240 said:
I have known you as a “real” friend for a number of years but feel like I have gotten to know you so much more as an “imaginary” friend. Thank you for putting this feeling into words for all of us. I look forward to the day when we may all get together someplace and really meet.
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momfawn said:
Thank you, Sandy. I always get excited when I see a comment you have made somewhere on Face Book, what with you being a “real” friend and all. And I am in awe of how much you know about digital scrapping! – Fawn
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Karen Campbell said:
Love your remarks Fawn. The group has meant so much to me and have let me rant, praise, question and rare instances; provide an answer to someone in need. I have received prayer as well as prayed for many who were facing difficult situations. Thank you for expressing so well what I feel about the group.
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momfawn said:
We have been through a lot together, Karen…I think that is what makes us so special – our willingness to stick our necks out for each other whenever there is a need. – Fawn
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Sara Hoefs said:
I love Karen’s response as much as I love the blog post! Ditto to everything she said. Nicely worded my imaginary friends!
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momfawn said:
Thank you, Sara. I think sometimes of a quotation from “Woodstock”: “There’s always a little bit of Heaven in a disaster area.” – Fawn
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Nicole said:
Aw, brave is a nice word. 🙂 I might have used “desperate” but on everything else I agree with you 100%!
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momfawn said:
“Desperate” probably fit, Nicole, but I used “brave” because you were willing to put yourself out there for us, not really having any idea where we would end up. Thank you again. – Fawn
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Joyce Gentry said:
Love your comments about your imaginary friends. You described our group so well. I feel the same way about my imaginary friends.
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momfawn said:
We are really lucky to have each other, aren’t we, Joyce? – Fawn
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Sharon Langmead said:
My “imaginary friends” have become so much a part of the daily vernacular my husband doesn’t know if I’m quoting a “real” friend or an HBPer. Thanks for putting it so eloquently Fawn. Time for a group hug. 😉
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momfawn said:
I’m sending a hug back, Sharon. My family, too — I’ll say, “so and so on HBP said,” and their eyes just kind of glaze over! – Fawn
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Amie said:
Fawn, you could make friends with a rock. And I mean that in the best way! People are just drawn to you, in case you didn’t know. I’m so lucky, I get to be a real AND imaginary friend! (But pssst, I can see them too, so I think they might really exist!)
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momfawn said:
Oh, Amie, what would I do without you, my double friend? Thank you for your sweet words. I’m now heading out on my unicorn to scrapbook in Fresno all day. – Fawn
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