I wonder whether I will every be truly content with where I live? When I am at the Coast, sleeping in my old room, I am totally at ease, knowing I am where I should be. My children and grandchildren are the missing pieces when I am there, though, and I know that is not where they want to live their lives. So as I breathe in the wonderful freedom of the coastal foothills and drive across land that recognizes who I am, there is that niggling “all is not quite right” at the edge of my heart.
And when I am back in the valley, back where I live “the rest of the time”, my granddaughters welcome me into the warmth of their hugs and shining faces and I know that living in their same space is the right thing to do. What is missing in that space? Of course — Daddy, Donnie, and the ocean.
I always thought this would be temporary time away, not 45 years and counting. Will I ever be able to reconcile the two, or will my heart continue yearning for “the other place”?