My heroes

Tags

blessings, dead batteries, heroes, new batteries, Olive Garden 1630, Subaru, Tea Etiquette, teacups

Today was to be one of those truly rare days in my life — a Friday that was not a scheduled work day, and with absolutely nothing on my calendar.  I had loose plans to run a few errands and then go antique-shop hunting for Bone China teacups and saucers for next week’s program  on Tea Etiquette.  And somewhere in there I would be taking the girls to and picking them up from school.

Everything changed when I put my key into the ignition, heard one small “beep”, and everything in my Subaru went dead.  We quickly regrouped and Georgia drove everyone to school, then she and I returned for a quiet morning at home.  It was so nice to be able to sit and visit about any and everything under the sun, without time constraints.

After Nick got home from work, he and Georgia quickly jumped my car and it fired right up.  I still had no good reason to venture out, and pretty much forgot about doing anything else.  When my husband-who-lives-across-town called to see whether I had gotten a new battery, I realized I hadn’t even tried to start it again.  When I did, once more a quiet “beep” and then nothing.

So here’s my salute to today’s heroes, as Georgia and Nick went out after the pumpkins were carved and picked up a new battery for my car, then came home and installed it for me…even though his work day comes VERY early in the morning and it was already rather late.  I am so blessed to share my life with them and grateful that they truly “have my back”.

Tomorrow I will be back in the fray of activities, from dance class in the morning with Olivia to closing Olive Garden tomorrow night, and Halloween fun throughout the day.  And my Subaru will be equal to the tasks.

Sweet dreams.

Reality bites!

Tags

Alzheimer's, blessings, dementia, grandchildren, suicide, Valhalla

This morning after our Bible study at Valhalla, I ran into an old friend from my early days at the Kings/Tulare UniServ Unit.  He looked more tired and less upbeat than when I last saw him a few months back, so my first question was about his wife.  With great sadness he told me he placed her in an Alzheimer’s care unit a couple of months ago.  They have been a couple for 50+ years, and although their marriage (like most eventually do) went through a very tough patch a number of years back, they have been partnered for most of their adult lives.

He is adrift, rattling around in the house “in town” they bought for their old age and fixed up for ease in navigating, hating to cook for only one, not knowing how to shop for only one.  She is in a secure care unit, not understanding why she can’t go home, moving from sadness to anger at being confined.  My heart is breaking for them both.

Then this evening I had a call from a colleague and friend, telling me of the suicide of one of our students.  And whether or not he had specifically been in my class, in a school as small as Woodville, each student belonged to every teacher.  I grieve the loss of this young man, barely out of his teens, and the little brother who will always wait for his big brother to come back home.  So much sadness, so much promise gone awry.

The bright light today?  While at Bible study, a couple stopped at our table to share a photograph of their most recent grandchildren…twins born just this morning and doing well.  It was my privilege to admire the picture and wish the family well, anticipating their joyful meeting at the hospital when their daughter was ready for visitors.

I am grateful for the bright lights that illuminate the darker parts of our days, and have promised to visit my friend’s wife (who has also been my friend for many years), even though I will have to explain to her who I am and why I am there.  I pray for God’s peace for all who are hurting tonight, and ask for Her safekeeping as we sleep.

June 6, 2010

Tags

blessings, Cynthia Elizabeth Janelli, death, grief, sisters, Visalia District Cemetery

Five years ago today, on June 6, 2010, my world came crashing down with the untimely death of my best friend’s daughter.  On that bright and beautiful Sunday morning, for reasons never satisfactorily explained, Cynthia Elizabeth Janelli’s car ran off a nearby street and slammed into a tree.  I’ll never forget my daughter’s voice on the phone as she told me, “Mom, Cindy’s dead.”  She was 18 years old, with her whole future ahead of her, and now she was gone.

None of us knew what to say, how to act, how to comfort her parents and sister.  I know I never found the right words to say…there are no right words.  Our family was glowing with happiness over the birth of granddaughter #2, and Cindy was gone.

Someday I hope we will understand why such things happen.  Why certain children who were true birth miracles die before becoming adults.  Why families have to watch others achieve all the normal milestones of adulthood — college, marriage, children, home buying…all of it — while their beloved child is buried in the cemetery next to her great-grandparents.

Today I visited Cindy at the Visalia District Cemetery.  Her mother had already been there, so I added my flowers to hers.  I told Cindy about what a beautiful woman her baby sister was becoming, and how much she was missed with each milestone.  Ashley is making her own way now, without her sister’s experience for guidance.  And she is doing an awesome job.

I went home in a bit of a blue funk, knowing I should be counting my blessings, but missing this child and grieving for all the losses along the way.  I cannot fathom how her parents and grandparents get through this day every year…and all the days in between…without her.  I just know that she is loved, as is her family, and that there will always be room for her in our hearts.

Rest in peace, Beautiful.

Ice dreams

Tags

blessings, dreams, fairy godmothers, ice skating, Olympics

If an Olympic fairy godmother could wing her way to me and grant my wildest wish, I would ask to be a figure skater. Gliding across the ice, leaping and turning, looking so delicate while being so strong…not just hearing the music, but BEING the music…such are my Olympic dreams.

The reality of ice skating for me is so very different. I have done it — long ago — and have the memory of a very spectacular fall, a bloodied chin, black and blue hip bones, a sturdy friend who skated out onto the ice and carried me off, to remind me that ice skating is not among the gifts I was given.

But as I watched the free program tonight and saw the competitors — some at the very beginnings of their careers, some singing their swan songs — I remembered, too, the brief shining joy of amazing freedom on the ice that afternoon at the Lodge Pole Ice Rink nearly fifty years ago.

Thank you, Lord, for letting me borrow that feeling just for a moment, and remember it forever.

A soul-satisfying day

Tags

blessings, Christmas, Christmas traditions, contentment, family

This has been a soul-satisfying day. We wrapped presents, talked, giggled, and loved on each other from slightly past midnight until 3:30 a.m., finishing just in time for Santa’s arrival. What we thought might be a rather “skinny” Christmas ended up being more than abundant. The tree was perfect, the presents piled high, and the love in the room was palpable. I cannot express the joy of having both my children and their beloveds here with me.

As the girls unwrapped their presents, the house was overrun by My Little Ponies and LaLaLoopsies…just exactly what they wanted…the smiles, the laughter, the thanks lit up the room. At brunch we shared our Christmas crackers (thank you, Claire, for introducing us to this tradition years ago), wore our silly crowns, shared the bad jokes, and played with the little toys. The food was simple but tasty, the mimosas delicious. And don’t get me started on the fudge!

All day long the girls played together with their new toys, with only minor squabbles over territory. The grown-ups segued from conversation to nap to conversation (our night was way too short), punctuated with trips to the kitchen for more fudge. Phone conversations with loved ones from afar made the day even better.

We are so blessed. Blessed by love based on deep friendship as well as blood ties. Blessed that our loved ones are out of harm’s way. Blessed by the Christmas traditions passed down through our families for generations. Blessed that we have ample food and a cozy nest, even in today’s challenging job market. Blessed to live in what I still feel is the greatest country in the world, even though our stars are a bit tarnished by human greed and strife. Blessed that those of us who truly believe Christ is “the reason for the season” can live and love with those who think differently in relationships of mutual respect.

Merry Christmas, dear friends…I hope you, too, had a soul-satisfying day.

Time

Tags

blessings, Christmas, Christmas presents, family

Today I was given the gift of time.  Time to wrap gifts with my youngest granddaughter so that we could mail them across country.  Time for lots of conversation about the people they were for, time for three-year old fingers to help hold scotch tape and choose gift tags, time to make another batch of fudge.

Time to spend the afternoon in second grade, helping with the Christmas activities on the last day before vacation.  Time (way too much time) driving in gridlocked traffic and standing in line at FedEx to ship said packages.  Yes, there was time to get them there by Christmas, the young man said.  “That will be $125.50 for the big one,” and I interrupted him before he could finish.  At first I thought I had misunderstood, but he really did say $125.50.  That box will not be arriving by Christmas.

Time to facilitate gift-wrapping by two young sisters who made their Grammy stay in her room while they giggled, conspired, and used tons of scotch tape to wrap a myriad of small gifts they proudly placed under the tree without adult help.

Time to ooh and aah at the presents my daughter brought home to delight those sisters, to anticipate their reactions Christmas morning.  Time to be reminded that I must share them with their daddy’s family occasionally, too, so they won’t be at church with me Christmas Eve (not a time for me to be greedy).

Time to realize how truly blessed we are.

Thanksgiving #1

Tags

blessings, family, Foodlink of Tulare County, hunger, Race Against Hunger, Thanksgiving

As this Thanksgiving Week begins, I am counting so many blessings.  Sitting here in my cozy bedroom with my granddaughters asleep under their blanket tent in the next room and their parents heading to bed across the house, I am grateful to be in the heart of this family.  I look forward to a Thanksgiving visit from my precious son and his sweet girlfriend, and a quick stopover by my dad and little brother.  There is nothing better than being with family, unless it is being with family during the holidays!

I am grateful to be healthy enough to get up Thanksgiving morning for the Race Against Hunger with my daughter, raising money for Foodlink of Tulare County.  It is hard to imagine the level of hunger that exists here in the richest agricultural area in the world.  I appreciate every small opportunity to help share food with those in need.

I am thankful for the written word and a love of reading.  I spent many hours today deeply engrossed in a novel shared yesterday by a friend.  I’m down to the last two chapters, and will finish it before sleeping tonight.

And I am thankful for you, for choosing to read my musings and share your thoughts with me.  I hope my words give you pleasure, or make you think in different directions.

Sweet dreams.

I still love weddings!

Tags

blessings, happiness, knitted flowers, McZeroun, vintage buttons, weddings

This was a very full day.  Very full of driving.  About eight hours’ worth, for a two-hour event.  And it was worth every mile in bumper-to-bumper Friday afternoon South Bay commuter traffic at 10 m.p.h., and the stiff neck and shoulders I earned by stressing over said traffic!

It was also very full of happiness.  If you read yesterday’s post (“I love weddings”), you know that we drove to Palo Alto to watch two very delightful young people get married.  I knew it would be very special, because I knew all the players.  I also knew that it would be uniquely staged and accessorized, with the bride and her ladies all carrying flowers knitted by the mother of the groom, accented with vintage buttons.

What I didn’t know was that those same vintage buttons would appear everywhere…from the bride’s necklace to the photographs of the wedding couple on each table to the bow at the back of the bride’s gown.  And it was those three little red buttons on the bow on the back of her gown that totally did me in.

For you see, when the wedding was being planned the groom’s mother called, reminded me how much the bride loved vintage buttons,  and asked whether I would like to share any of Mom’s buttons with her.  I spent an evening happily going through box after box of buttons from her collection, picking out ones I thought might work, and adding little notes about some of them.  Then I shipped them off to the bride.

Before the ceremony I admired the bouquets, and was tickled that the buttons were being enjoyed.  But after the groomsmen and bridesmaids were in place, and the flower girl had skipped down the aisle with her basket of autumn leaves, the exquisite bride came in on her beaming father’s arm.  And when she walked past me and I saw those three little red buttons on her bow, matching her adorable red shoes, it was though Mom hugged me from Heaven and gave all of us her blessing.  And that’s when the tears started.

Did I mention that I love weddings?

Counting my blessings

Tags

blessings, car repairs, gratitude, poverty

Tomorrow marks a full week since I took my Jeep into the garage to figure out what was causing the awful noises coming from its engine.  The news is not good…failed oil pump, blown piston, mechanic still searching for suitable replacement pieces.  Patience, grasshopper…

Having one working vehicle for three adults with things to do and places to go (and children to be delivered hither and yon) has become quite a challenge.  No longer do I “run to the store” spontaneously.  My driving has become much more intentional, activities more focused.  My husband who lives across town has been very generous with loaning his car, but we are planning two or three days out so that no appointments are missed and everyone who needs to be somewhere (dance lessons, preschool, school, work) gets there.

So I have been thinking about women and children in countries where vehicles are a rarity, not to mention a luxury.  Women and children who spend their days walking about searching for firewood, or fetching water, children who can’t go to school because they have no shoes, girls who can’t go to school because the schools have no bathroom facilities for them and it isn’t proper for them to use the bushes as the boys do.

I am grateful that we live where we do, where we can take for granted our ability to feed and clothe our children, and get them to school.  Sure, I’m stressing about where I will find the money to pay my mechanic.  But I know that my grandchildren won’t go hungry, no matter what.  They don’t face wild animal attacks on their way to school, and there are no poisonous snakes or other critters lurking beneath their beds.

Tonight, as every night, I am counting my blessings.