March 1

Tags

anniversaries, cousins, family, nephews

March 1 is a lovely day in our family. Forty years ago today, my cousin Philip Bruce married Janice, thereby giving me my very first “cousin-in-law” who is now simply “my cousin”. (I wrote about our visit on Friday.) The bride was appropriately beautiful, the groom just a bit nervous, and the cake server (me) ended up with cake in her hair!

Fast forward to March 1 a couple of years later, when my sister Melody and her husband made me an aunt for the very first time. Jim was a neat little kid, and has grown up into a handsome and articulate young man who charms the local wildlife and can make all growing things flourish. He is another reason I wish that Ohio was located along the eastern edge of California!

Once again, the bottom line for me is family.

Cousin time

Tags

anniversaries, cousins, dementia, grief, in-laws

Cousins are precious creatures, often being our closest playmates after our siblings. And if we are really lucky, our cousins choose their partners wisely and give us even more cousins as we get older. My first cousin to marry will be having his 40th anniversary this weekend, which means that my “cousin-in-law” has been part of our family almost twice as long after her marriage than her husband was before marrying her. (I hope that makes sense when I read it again in the morning!)

Today was Aunt Betty and Uncle Phil’s 66th wedding anniversary — an incredible accomplishment by two of the most special people in my world. Coincidentally, their first daughter-in-law was visiting for a couple of days, so I drove up to Fresno this evening for a visit. I almost didn’t go. It had been a long day, rain was expected, Olivia has basketball at 8:30 in the morning. I rattled off an entire litany of excuses to myself. But Janice had come all the way from Virginia and I hadn’t seen her for more than a year, so I went.

Of course, the look of joy on her face when she opened the door and discovered me was worth the drive both ways. And our instant “cousin connection”, the one that erases the time and space of being apart, was as wonderful as always. We were young adults together. I served the cake at her wedding, she is my daughter’s godmother. We are grandmothers together, we are each grieving the death of a parent (Janice’s dad and my mom), and watching loved ones journey through dementia (Janice’s mom and my Uncle Phil). I have often said that I wished New Hampshire, Virginia, and Ohio were clustered along the eastern border of California north of Arizona, so that all our family could see each other more often.

Tonight I am thankful for the blessings of cousins — by birth and by marriage — and for the aunts and uncles who give them to us. Happy 66th anniversary, Aunt Betty and Uncle Phil. And thank you for being Philip Bruce’s parents, so that I could have Janice.

(This was written on Friday night, but didn’t publish until two minutes into Saturday.)

Friday nights

Tags

blanket tents, cousins, Friday nights, popcorn, snacks

School started here August 14, which makes this the second “official” Friday night of the school year. Friday nights in the summer are lovely, especially for families where the breadwinner works a nine-to-five job. But once school starts, Friday nights gain magical powers.

At our house, the joys of Friday night begin as soon as the last bell rings: No homework for the weekend! Instead of coming home, grabbing a snack, and settling down with her math and reading homework before enjoying any downtime, Lily starts planning her evening’s agenda in the car on the way home. Sometimes it includes playing with her cousins who live down the street. Sometimes (like tonight) she hangs out with Mom, Dad, and Sister in the back yard until way after dark.

Tonight’s tent, assembled with clothes pins, laundry baskets, and bedcovers.

And on those really special evenings, she and her little sister make a wonderful tent in the middle of the living room and sleep where they stop moving. Tonight’s tent-and-a-movie experience was enhanced by a big bowl of buttery popcorn. What could be better?

Being a grown-up

Tags

adulthood, aunts and uncles, chocolate, cousins, death, etsy shops, family, forts, mourning

If you need me, I’ll be in my blanket fort coloring!

I don’t think I want to be an adult any more. I think being an adult is over-rated. In fact, today I think that being an adult stinks!

If you need me, I’ll be in my blanket fort coloring. Or in the garden hiding behind the clothesline. Or driving around aimlessly in my Jeep, eating chocolate and talking on the phone.

Today started out nicely, as I spent the morning picking the brain of a sweet friend about the mysteries, perks, and pitfalls of having an etsy store. I am excited about a potential new direction for my Close To My Heart business and a sales venue for many of my mother’s things. Who knew etsy had a vintage division? I certainly did not!

The day started its downward slide as I talked with my cousin about how well her father-in-law, my most favorite uncle, was doing now that he is home from the hospital. It got a little better when my sister answered her phone and we started talking about that same uncle and how he is progressing. (For those of you who have been reading for awhile, this uncle is the husband of my precious Aunt Betty I have written about more than once.)

The truth is that none of us know when it is our time to go Heavenward. So we must make the effort to gather our loved ones around us. So I was talking to my sister on the phone (again about Uncle Phil and Aunt Betty) when our brother called. I just let it ring and kept talking. And he called back again, which is unusual. I put Melody on hold to talk to Donnie, only to hear that my east coast (actually southern) most favorite uncle (my dad’s little brother) had died. Our first concern, of course, was Daddy, and whether he was up to a cross-country trip for his brother’s funeral. And then for our aunt, who relied very heavily on her husband and now would be bereft.

We talked about the reverberations of Uncle Jim’s death throughout our family…about the great-grandchildren who would lose their playmate, about (in my case at least) remembering Uncle Jim before he married Aunt Jackie and gave us cousins. About how he in no way was the one we had thought would be the next relative to approach Heaven’s gates. And we came to one golden conclusion:

Being a grown-up bites! We are tired of having loved ones die and having to report the news to other loved ones. We are tired of watching loved ones become more and more confused and frail. And (this goes for me only) I am not feeling up to the challenge of becoming the next matriarch of our clan.

So if anyone needs me, I’ll be in my blanket fort, coloring.

Celebrating Easter

Tags

acolyte, cousins, Easter, Easter egg hunts, family, grandparents, Resurrection

(Because it is Sunday, we are taking a break from the A-Z Challenge topics.) Easter has always been a delightful celebration day. Of course, as a child I had no concept of the Resurrection — death in any form was pretty nebulous, and the whole idea of someone dying on my behalf would have made no sense at all. But we celebrated Easter and honored God by dressing up in wonderful new clothes and heading to church after our Easter egg hunt.

Mom always made Easter dresses for Melody and me; most years they were alike, but some years we had different ideas of what the ideal dress was, and she accommodated us. There were always new shoes and socks, and some years gloves, purses, and hats. What fun we had getting all dolled up!

Easter of 1959 was very special. I was on the verge of a Very Important Recital and Mom was about three weeks away from having our baby brother. So my Easter dress that year was the one she made for my piano performance at San Bernardino Valley College. It was glorious — this picture definitely does not do it justice!

Melody and Fawn all ready for church, Easter 1959

My dress was sky blue taffeta with pale pink rosebuds tying up every scallop of the overskirt. I was beyond proud, and tried very hard not to lord my beautiful dress over Melody, who looked adorable in a dress also made by Mom. I felt very grown up.

Today was another glorious Easter celebration. This time the girls in question were Lily and Olivia, dressed in compatible but not identical blue dresses with white shrugs. Neither Mom nor Grammy sews these days, so the dresses were store-bought, but still delightful.

Fawn, Lily, and Olivia all ready for church, Easter 2014

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church was a busy place, what with a baptism, a visit from their granddad, and an Easter egg hunt following the service. Both girls took part in the processional, and Lily was composed and efficient in her role as junior acolyte. This grammy was properly proud. And when the last hallelujah was shouted and we headed home, there was family time, more Easter candy, and dinner at their great-grandmother’s house eaten at the kids table with their cousins.

All made possible because of the Resurrection.

Cousins

Tags

Christmas, Christmas trees, cousins, family relationships, ornaments

Cousins are rare creatures.  They are like us in so many ways, but are unique unto themselves.  And love binds us together forever.

Today was a bonus cousin day.  I knew I would be having Christmas brunch with my aunt and our doll club ladies, then going back to her house for a little visit.  What I didn’t know was that besides my uncle, one of her sons, his wife and daughter (and her boyfriend) would also be there when we returned.  Such wonderful, unexpected cousin time!

I have known my cousin’s wife since they were dating in high school, and our daughters grew up together.  We don’t ever distinguish who is a cousin by birth or a cousin by marriage — that is unimportant.  The important things are the bonds of family experiences, sharing good times and sorrowful ones, and enjoying each others’ company.

Today the fun was focused on Christmas decorations…teeny tiny ones that my aunt has collected over the years to embellish the many small trees she has created.  It was sharing time, and I brought home some special little ornaments for my own small tree, as well as some to share with other family members.  We reminisced about when and where the ornaments were purchased, how they had been used over the years, and what we would do with them this year.

Beyond that, we simply basked in the joys of being with family at Christmastime.  And that was enough.