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~ Random musings of a thoroughly lived life

triggershorse

Monthly Archives: May 2016

Empt(ier) nest

26 Thursday May 2016

Posted by momfawn in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

expectations, granddaughters, me-time, routines, St. John's River

Earlier this week as I checked to see if it was time  to pick Olivia up from school, it hit me:  When school starts in the fall she will go until 2:10, and this stay-at-home Grammy will have my entire morning free.  Every day, not just my Wednesday each month when I run away to Fresno for the day, but every Monday through Friday.  There will be a first grader and a fifth grader in our house, and my schedule will undergo a drastic change.

Now for many women this is commonplace, but it has never happened to me before.  As a mom with a job outside the home, I went back to work full-time when my daughter was five and a half weeks old.  She was in day care until she started school, and in after-school day care after that (I have shared before how my decision to continue working after her birth is one of my very few regrets in life).  So I didn’t experience this lengthening of my “free time” as she grew older.

I am kind of panicky about it.  How will life’s expectations of me change, now that I have the entire morning to myself?  More importantly, how will my own expectations of me change?  Will I rush to “over-schedule” those empty hours (I tend to do that), or will I simply enjoy the peace and quiet?  Will this be the time that I finally find a workable housekeeping routine (don’t hold your breath here)?  Or will I grant myself the flexibility and freedom to extend my reading-in-the-garden time, or set up a permanent creating space in my bedroom?

cloudy river

It was a beautifully cloudy morning for my walk along the St. John’s River Parkway today.

Right now I am enjoying my early morning walks by the river after dropping the girls off at school.  And I love that moment each day when I ask Olivia how her day went, and she answers with some variation on, “Awesome!”

I guess that time will simply come later each day.  To be continued in the fall…

 

 

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Gentle giants

22 Sunday May 2016

Posted by momfawn in Family, Gardening, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

drought, landscaping, progress, Redwood trees

Four of our neighborhood’s gentle giants came crashing down this weekend.  One — the Redwood at the end of our cul de sac — was mostly dead, thanks to our ongoing drought and neighbors who didn’t bother to water via hose.  I have watched it get more and more brown, then perk up a bit when the rains came this winter — too little, too late, I’m afraid.  It was one of two standing guard over our street, and the new owners of the adjacent property chopped it down yesterday.

One lonely Sequoia by the stump of its neighbor

One lonely Redwood by the stump of its neighbor

The other three were down around the corner, and as far as I could tell, were thriving.  I was stunned to drive past on the way to church this morning and see piles of trunks and branches chopped all willy-nilly, where yesterday beautiful trees had stood.  I will miss walking in their shade and smelling their rich, foresty fragrance.

Most of our neighbors’ homes were built 20-25 years ago, and landscaped at that time. Unfortunately, the builder planted trees with an eye for how they would look at the time the houses were sold, not what they would become in the future.  Many of the yards had Redwoods planted within a few feet of the roof lines, where they would soon damage the house if left unchecked.  My house had a total of five, two on one side and three on the other (we dug up the one closest to the garage and transplanted it to the back yard, where our dog ate it right down to the ground a few months later).

Now the neighborhood is overgrown, many homes are being sold, and their new owners are coming in and chopping down full-sized trees (not just the Redwoods, but many landscape trees) to “open up” their landscaping.

Somehow this doesn’t feel like progress to me.

 

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Playing hooky

19 Thursday May 2016

Posted by momfawn in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

blogging, playing hooky, routine, skipping classs

For a daily blogger, skipping that first blog post is rather like playing hooky from a college class:  It is really hard to do, but eventually you give yourself permission.  You are on top of your coursework, you are horribly tired, it is gorgeous outside and you need to go to the park…anyway, you come up with a workable excuse, and skip class/blogging.

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The next day is easier.  You have lost your momentum/you don’t know what the assignment was/and it is still gorgeous outside.  So you don’t go to class — again/don’t blog — again.  And if the class meets twice a week, you have lost an entire week.  How do you go back and face the prof after missing a whole week?  And as a blogger, you can’t even face the prof that is in your brain!

To carry the analogy even farther, unless you are very brave you can end up dropping the class (and that W on your transcript can become an F if it is too late in the semester.  Ask me how I know.).  If you are a blogger no longer blogging, you become restless because part of your routine is missing, but daily life has rushed into that space and threatens to claim it entirely.  And eventually you sit down to reclaim that missing space and realize that two months have passed.

That is where I found myself this morning.  Two full months have passed, and I have missed Trigger’s Horse and I have missed you, my readers.  I feel like I have let us all down — my classmates and my prof.  But I am back.  Please find room for me in your schedule.

Happy spring!

 

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Anxiety and Liz

Sufferer of anxiety, depression and emetophobia. Romance Author, Mental Health Advocate and Avid Upcycler.

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Runaway Nuns and Leprechauns

lillian the home poet

rejuvenatement - not retirement

the journey to six

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Publishing My Cancer Research Journey at 16

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Blogging on a variety of things that pluck at the hearts' emotions & more

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Motherhood and Lifestyle blog

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Handmade gifts for every budget

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random thoughts 'n things from the life of jacob

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Book reviews, writing, and so much more

The Dystopian Nation of City-State

A cruel, futuristic vision created by science fiction authors James Courtney and Kaisy Wilkerson-Mills. ©2013-2016. All Rights Reserved. All writings available through Amazon.

Kim L Hine

She's off on another Tangent (digressing suddenly from one course of action or thought and turning to another) it's a "Kimmy" thing..

Taking it up to Sixty . . . and Beyond

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A happy, self-indulgent space where I write things for YOU to read! These things I write about include life, travel, first world problems, myself and other people. Sometimes I try to be funny, but mostly I'm not.

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Dean Baker's Poetry and Songs

A Canadian poet, his poetry & other works

Aberrant Crochet (TM)

For the OffBeat World...

pieces of me

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Exploration through writing, photography and art

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wishing for a really long and very happy ending

Leonard Durso

"Literature is language charged with meaning." Ezra Pound

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meredithexpat

Susan A. Royal

If you could read my mind

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A fantasy Author with too much free time on his hands that likes to Support Indie Authors.

two worlds.one soul

my journey through this mysterious world we call home and a world many people do not see or understand

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Living Naturally, Anywhere

writing in airplanes

Poetry © by Daniel von der Embse. Most every poem I write starts out in flight. Some of them land safely. Some of them crash.

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Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different styles by R. L. Stine

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what's poppin'?

For those about to read, I salute you !

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literature. film. babble. yes.

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A mom's journey with her daughter's Leukemia

the mint vintage

Inspired by a mint colored kitchen.

One Rambling Mind

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