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~ Random musings of a thoroughly lived life

triggershorse

Monthly Archives: January 2014

Blessed rain

31 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

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Central Coast, granddaughter, lightening, rain, scared dog, thunderstorm

Last night was pretty crazy as I prepared for my big adventure to the Central Coast. My last trip outside confirmed my worst fears;following the afternoon’s rain, the fog was rapidly settling into our valley.My last conscious thought;as I was falling asleep was an addition to my bedtime prayers: Please, God, make the fog lift.

Fast forward an hour or so, when I was awakened by a huge clap of thunder, lightening brightening my room, and a terrified dog whimpering at my side. And the clattering noise — rain pounding on the roof, the walls, the sidewalks. Not just a little sissy sprinkle, as earlier in the day, but a “let’s get seriously wet” downpour.

Granddaughter #1 came in to tell me how the thunder had scared her awake as she fell out of her top bunk onto her sister’s bunk below. (The littlest one slept through the whole thing.) I got her settled in again, and tried to go back to sleep. But the dog had other ideas. He was so scared that he kept coming into my room for reassurance. I offered to let him out, but he wanted no part of that. He finally tried to get up on my bed (all 70 pounds of him).

Nearly an hour later I capitulated and moved into the living room for the rest of the night. The dog fell asleep with his nose nestled under my arm, finally feeling safe. And the raindrop lullaby soothed me to sleep, too, while it chased away the fog.

Sunrise showed a landscape freshly bathed and damp…soaked, puddled, and happy. Thank you, God, for sending your blessed rain. Please send more.

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The amazing sister scrapping adventure

30 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

≈ 1 Comment

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adventure, Avila Lighthouse Inn, beach getaway, Close To My Heart, papercrafting, scrapbooking, sisters

After many months of plotting and planning, and great an…tici…pation…the amazing sister scrapping adventure begins tomorrow. I will pick my precious sister up at the airport around noon, go to Daddy’s for a short visit, and then check into our beachfront hotel (The Avila Lighthouse Inn) for the weekend. Rather like our Hawaii adventure two years ago, we will have no rules, no responsibilities, no children, no husbands. Just each other and a few (30 or so) similarly minded scrapbooking ladies gathered together for inspiration, creation, and just plain fun. And it all starts in only 12 more hours.

In preparation for our trip, hairs have been re-colored (mine), nails have been done (hers), suitcases have been (or nearly) packed, and projects have been gathered. Since she is flying, I am hauling tools, papers, albums, etc., by car. I have had as much fun guessing which papers she would enjoy as I have had choosing my own. Picking for someone else is always a kick…kind of the way we choose a special present for Christmas and then wait to see if the recipient is as thrilled with it as we were!

The only downside is the great possibility of waking up to a world enshrouded by fog tomorrow morning; we had rain today after nearly three dry months, so the fog is lurking. With any luck at all, it will get cold enough tonight to discourage it. It is rather ironic that, after praying so for rain, it comes just in time to potentially wreak havoc on my travel plans. But I refuse to stress out about it.

I will be doing updates throughout the weekend…watch this space for glimpses into our adventure.

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Surgery #2

29 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

≈ 2 Comments

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cardiology, granddaughters, grandfather, pacemaker, parking garages, surgery

It seems like I need a follow-up to my earlier posts this week about my husband-who-lives-across-town’s impending surgery. This scenario only has good news. The good news is: he sailed through the surgery beautifully, in spite of his earlier trepidation. The good news is: This new “improved” pacemaker should be good for another nine years or so. The good news is: His heart is performing just as it should (with the pacemaker’s help, of course). The good news is: He should be around to be in our granddaughters’ lives for a long time.

We only had positive interactions with the hospital staff today, from the intake clerk at the front desk to the volunteers who staffed the information desk by the cardiac waiting room, to the many nurses, technicians, and the cardiologist who cared for him. The hardest part was having to park on the roof of the parking garage, which meant driving down five stories back to the ground floor (I hate parking garages). All in all, a very successful day.

Here’s to a speedy, uncomplicated recovery.

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Hooray!

28 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

≈ 2 Comments

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Close To My Heart, Creative Memories, Jeep, Jeep Grand Cherokee, mechanics, Visalia German Automotive

After nearly three months in the shop, my Jeep was finally ready to come back home with me tonight. When last I saw it in the shop yard at Visalia German Automotive, it was absolutely filthy from sitting outside in the weather (with the side window open and a towel thrown across). I am grateful that the mechanic rinsed it off for me, but oh, the inside is so gross. I didn’t have the oomph to clean it out tonight, but I am just so thrilled to have it back.

I thought I had gotten past mourning my Creative Memories business, but when I pulled up outside the shop and caught a glimpse of my rear window with the familiar Creative Memories logo (now extinct and extraneous), I caught myself choking down a small sob. I haven’t removed the logo because it keeps my silver Grand Cherokee from looking exactly like all the other silver Grand Cherokees in the grocery store parking lot. Soon I will order the window signage for my new business with Close To My Heart.

Meanwhile, I will continue reacquainting myself with the bells and whistles of my jeep. Each car I have driven over the past few months has had the gear shift in a different place, the emergency brake with a different configuration, and the gas tank on a different side. I need to return to knowing exactly where everything is, so I can drive on automatic pilot. I appreciate the wonderful friends who shared vehicles with me or helped with my chauffeuring duties. It made all the difference in the world.

Life is back to normal. Hooray!

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Pre-op

27 Monday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

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health care, power of attorney for medical care, pre-op, surgery, uncomfortable chairs, waiting

I really feel for anyone who must spend much time in the medical system. Today was pre-op day, and I was chauffeur and health-care decision-making designee. After the health-care form was signed, he says, “I’d better not piss you off, now that you have the authority to have me killed.” “I can’t have you killed,” I responded, “I can only decide what heroic measures they use to save you.”

The entire morning was spent hurrying up and waiting. Emphasis on the waiting. Nearly an hour to get an EKG, which was improperly done because of short cuts taken by medical staff, who then didn’t have the know-how to add more paper to the machine and repeat the procedure. Then an additional hour waiting in another facility for the requisite fasting blood work, said delays resulting in fourteen hours of fasting before all was said and done. And whomever designed the waiting room chairs should be either beaten or forced to sit in one for several hours at a time. In a waiting room that was adjacent to double-wide doors that welcomed the cold air every time someone went in or out. And I was well…just impatient…can you imagine how miserable a sick person would feel?

And after all morning spent in pre-op, we still don’t have a scheduled surgery time. That will be decided tomorrow. I guess there’s no rush…surgery is for the day after that. No point in rushing things.

End of rant today. Sleep well.

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Surgery

26 Sunday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

≈ 4 Comments

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death, depression, negativity, outcomes, surgery

I have been thinking quite a bit about surgery and mental states and outcomes. My question is this: If someone is facing surgery — especially surgery that is supposed to be routine and effortless — and goes into it with a feeling of grave foreboding, does it make the surgery more risky? I know that a positive mental attitude can help in healing, even when the medical odds are not necessarily favorable. But is the opposite true, also? Does a negative or fearful mental attitude, or — worse yet — an acceptance that things are not going to go well, detract from the success of the procedure?

Do “gut feelings” take precedence over a physician’s assurances that the surgery will be a slam-dunk? If the patient is purportedly accepting of, or possibly even welcoming, impending death, does his attitude hasten the negative outcome? Or is death even negative, if the patient says he would welcome it?

I am such a Pollyanna that I can’t imagine welcoming death unless I were in extreme pain and considered well beyond hope. But then, I have never dealt with depression or suicidal feelings, either. I am not trying to judge, simply pondering.

What do you think?

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Equilibrium regained

25 Saturday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Uncategorized

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audience, Close To My Heart, creativity, equilibrium, scrapbooking, Trigger's Horse

First of all, I must say “thank you” to my sweet friends who checked on me after yesterday’s post. I must admit I was still quite angry when I hit that “publish” button, so my words weren’t very well-tempered.

I’m back, comfortable in my own skin again, after a morning watching the girls play basketball and the afternoon spent in a room filled with inspired scrapbookers. Looking at album pages with a creator’s eye, rather than that of a historian, is a stretch for me. But my new adventure with Close To My Heart is stretching me in many creative directions, and I am well pleased.

Exercising our creative muscles, no matter what the venue, is good for both the soul and the brain. Feeling and thinking creatively pull us out of whatever ruts we may have fallen into and back up into the fresh air. It is difficult to be creative and foggy-brained at the same time.

Taking time with you, Gentle Reader, and Trigger’s Horse, helps me renew and replenish those creative juices every day. For that…and for my encouraging audience…I am grateful.

What will you create today?

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Balance

24 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Devo, dissonance, Libras, relationships, Scotch and soda

I pride myself on maintaining a generally calm demeanor, an ability to roll with the punches while seeing both sides of an issue and then taking action accordingly. Not only am I a child of the ’60s (Arroyo Grande Union High School class of 1967), but I am also a Libra who wants everyone balanced and even-tempered.

Which is why I am so aggravated with myself this evening, as well as with my spouse-who-lives-across-town. In most long-term relationships — successful or otherwise — the participants develop a ritual dance of sorts that enables them to maneuver through the hills and valleys of life. In successful relationships, the dance becomes a waltz, with the partners dipping and swirling through life’s experiences in three-quarter time. In more questionable relationships, the dance may resemble a Devo concert…dissonance and confusion with intermissions of relative quiet, then dissonance again.

My Libra tendencies have led me to try to waltz to the sounds of Devo, and I thought I was succeeding fairly well, until tonight’s relapse into full-blown enabling sent me straight to the Scotch and soda when I returned home. Those of you who know me well also know I don’t do that anymore. That was the old me, long defeated. But tonight the pissed-off me did exactly that, and really shattered my equanimity.

Tomorrow is another day, and another journey towards balance. Sweet dreams.

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A compelling habit

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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blogging, compulsion, habits, heart, Triggershorse

I tried to play hooky from blogging today. I had every intention of just falling asleep watching “Hawaii Life” on HGTV and calling it a day by automatic pilot. But something drew me back to my computer for more than just a few video games, and here I am.

It is hard to explain what the lure is, why and how seeing my own words in print has become so compelling. But after nearly three months of visiting Triggershorse each evening, the habit has become engrained. I read somewhere long ago that it takes repeating an act twenty-two times before it becomes a habit. Well, I’ve done that and then some.

I hope my followers…now numbering nearly 780 adventurous souls…are enjoying their occasional glimpses into my head and heart. I know I love the comments I receive, and count myself so very fortunate to have discovered such a wonderful forum.

Sleep well, my friends.

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Resiliency

22 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by momfawn in Family

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adversity, challenges, children, family, parenting, resiliency, stress

“resiliency: the capacity to withstand stress and catastrophe”

I’m struggling tonight with a question: What is it that parents can do to give our children the gift of resiliency? What causes a child to grow up with the internal strength to deal with adversity and bounce back, rather than be forever damaged? Is it by accident they develop that strength, or is it in their personality, just waiting to emerge?

Both of my children are very resilient adults…they had very different childhoods and developed a variety of coping skills, but the end result is similar. They have struggled, overcome, struggled more, overcome more. And I as their mother have no idea what the “magic bullet” was that gave them that strength. I am grateful, but if I knew what the vital puzzle piece was I could be more intentional about sharing it with other parents and grandparents.

If you have some insights to share about this, feel free to leave your comments.

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A snapshot of life one blog post at a time.

Anxiety and Liz

Sufferer of anxiety, depression and emetophobia. Romance Author, Mental Health Advocate and Avid Upcycler.

The Littlest Woman: The Life and Legacy of Lizzie Alcott, the Real Beth March

Growing the Ball Family

Please join us on this radical journey of pure obedience!

Anne Boyd Rioux

Author Website

A World

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Runaway Nuns and Leprechauns

lillian the home poet

rejuvenatement - not retirement

the journey to six

Raising My Rainbow

Adventures in raising a fabulously gender creative son.

Jennifer Lee Schwartz

Publishing My Cancer Research Journey at 16

~Plucking Of My Heartstrings~

Blogging on a variety of things that pluck at the hearts' emotions & more

LorryJones

Motherhood and Lifestyle blog

Laura's Crocheted Gifts

Handmade gifts for every budget

That’s So Jacob

random thoughts 'n things from the life of jacob

Lifeline

Book reviews, writing, and so much more

The Dystopian Nation of City-State

A cruel, futuristic vision created by science fiction authors James Courtney and Kaisy Wilkerson-Mills. ©2013-2016. All Rights Reserved. All writings available through Amazon.

Kim L Hine

She's off on another Tangent (digressing suddenly from one course of action or thought and turning to another) it's a "Kimmy" thing..

Taking it up to Sixty . . . and Beyond

Taggle Talk

A happy, self-indulgent space where I write things for YOU to read! These things I write about include life, travel, first world problems, myself and other people. Sometimes I try to be funny, but mostly I'm not.

Melanie Ritchie

Illustrator, Designer, Scrapbooker

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Home of the Unicorns and Rainbows CTMH Team

Dean Baker's Poetry and Songs

A Canadian poet, his poetry & other works

Aberrant Crochet (TM)

For the OffBeat World...

pieces of me

Project Prose

Exploration through writing, photography and art

DotedOn

wishing for a really long and very happy ending

Leonard Durso

"Literature is language charged with meaning." Ezra Pound

Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

meredithexpat

Susan A. Royal

If you could read my mind

Riley Amos Westbook

A fantasy Author with too much free time on his hands that likes to Support Indie Authors.

two worlds.one soul

my journey through this mysterious world we call home and a world many people do not see or understand

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Living Naturally, Anywhere

writing in airplanes

Poetry © by Daniel von der Embse. Most every poem I write starts out in flight. Some of them land safely. Some of them crash.

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Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different styles by R. L. Stine

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“Everyone who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that some spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe, one that is vastly superior to that of man.” - Albert Einstein

GIANLUCA'S WORLD

The 365 Poetry Project

what's poppin'?

For those about to read, I salute you !

Inside Out and Wide Open

I write to taste life twice.

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Middle-age Reconstruction

Weeknight Whimsies

Written by the Wild, Wondrous and Wacky Kat & Jo

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From Past to Present the words of a journey will make or break

blurbabble

literature. film. babble. yes.

300 stories

A continuing mission to produce flash fiction stories in 300 words (or less)

Leukemia Fire

A mom's journey with her daughter's Leukemia

the mint vintage

Inspired by a mint colored kitchen.

One Rambling Mind

Sometimes lunatic, other times confused, always rambling. Names are changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

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